I’m a Millennial and I Love Avocado Toast

Sue me

Kitty Williams

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Delicious avocado toast made by a millennial — Image via author

Everyone loves to bitch about millennials these days. It seems to be some people’s favorite past time.

I saw a comment on social media the other day saying that the reason college degrees are so expensive is because students are buying “avocado toast, lattes and driving lambos”.

Yeah, that must be it, it couldn’t be that the cost of formal education is overinflated or anything like that. No, we go into massive amounts of student loan debt because we bought too much toast.

My (Boomer) neighbor once complained about the “millennial twit” working at the furniture store who didn’t know what a “tuxedo arm sofa” was. I didn’t know what it was either, so I guess that makes two millennial twits.

I may not know what a tuxedo arm sofa is, but at least I know how movie streaming works. Once when I was telling that same neighbor about a movie I had recently watched on Amazon Prime, she thought that I had ordered a physical copy, like from Blockbuster or something. But go ahead, keep calling us millennials dumb.

For some reason when people complain about millennials, they like to throw in something about avocado toast. I’m not sure why it is that every criticism of millennials is linked to toast. It could be that Boomers and Gen Xers are just jealous that they didn’t come up with it, I don’t know. What I do know is that avocado toast is fucking delicious. Is it expensive? Sure. But it’s worth it in my opinion. But if you don’t want to splurge on boujie toast, no worries, you can make it at home! Save that money for your student loan payments, kids!

I will even provide my very special recipe (that I stole from my local fresh pressed juice joint) to you all for free!

You will need:

  • Bread of your choice
  • One ripe avocado
  • Salt of your choice, I use pink Himalayan salt
  • Lemon juice
  • Extra virgin olive oil also known as EVOO
  • Red pepper flakes

Directions:

Toast your bread and while it is toasting mash up half of your avocado until it’s a spreadable consistency (no chunks). After your…

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Kitty Williams

writer of sad poetry & essays on feminism, politics, LGBTQ, religion & whatever else I feel like. bookworm, stargazer, daydreamer & devoted mom to fur babies